You might have picked up on the fact that I’m really feeling myself these days (I hope it’s not too annoying!). Since we’ve been out here in Utah our lives have totally changed from the super-urban-high-achieving-city-dwellers that we were. Mountain life has afforded me I’ve new experiences that have built up my confidence in ways I’ve never dreamed. And the best part is that I’m pretty certain we can all find ways to tap into our inner badass, even without moving across the country during Pandemia. We just have to do hard things, sometimes on purpose.

 

What I’ve learned in such a short period of time is that the period of “transition” is SO HARD for me. It’s gritty and I struggle thru it…but I also learned that I CAN DO IT! I can make it thru to the other side and the feeling on the other side is CONFIDENCE!!! I was never able to recognize this pattern before because I was doing a really good job sheltering my experiences to the “same” and never taking risks without a certain amount of predicted success.  Once we grow up, we stop getting presented with ways to stretch and grow.

 

Some of struggles for me included figuring out how to take care of my three beautiful children (and Rex!) alone during the week. That may not seem like much, and for many it isn’t.  (Many mamas are doing this on the daily, year in year out. They are true badasses.)  Squeezing a week’s worth of marriage into a weekend with three kids isn’t necessarily a walk in the park either. But you do it, struggle through it, and one day realize YOU GOT THIS!

 

I’ve also stressed through MANY a morning winter storm- driving down our mountain, through town with winter mountain road conditions to get my two littlest ones to school safely. Believe me when I say that I now have full working knowledge of sliding thru hair pin turns during a storm. But you do it, struggle through it, and one day realize YOU GOT THIS!

 

The struggle is also there outside on the trails. Huffing and puffing to higher elevations where the air is so thin with lungs and legs so tired they’re screaming at you to stop! Or looking down a daunting ski run full of trees and moguls knowing you have to get yourself down. And even this- sharing this with you, presents many different challenges. From major to minor- the struggle has been a teacher.

 

I catch myself in the struggle/gritty transition, recognize it and MOVE THRU IT then bask in the sweetness that lies on the other side. Cheesy, but true.  I used to spend so much time in the struggle and fear- second guessing everything, especially myself. When you spend tha that amount of time second guessing yourself, it crushes your confidence and eventually silences your intuition.

 

Right now, life feels like a smorgasbord of FFT’s (Brene brown’s F&@cking First Times), each of them bringing their own struggles and each of them ultimately, after the struggle, brining confidence that I’ve desperately needed.

 

On the list of upcoming challenges for me…learning how this new way for me will translate back in DC…