Quiet Down!
How much alone time do you require? I’ve recently realized that I need more alone time than I thought! When I get enough time alone and declutter my mind, when I return to my family, I love the version of myself I can bring to the table! I can appreciate everyone and everything so much more! And if I’m lucky enough to have that alone time outside in nature- then I’m really bringing my A-game to the family table. And that give me so much confidence- leaves me with the, “I can do this! I can do all the things!” feeling, and who doesn’t like that!
For decades I searched to find ways to quiet my mind to find that “stillness” so many spiritual folks mention. I even went an intro course at the Shambala Mediation Center in DC once- by myself. I’m not sure I even have the words to describe that experience. There were candles, pillows on the floor, a framed photo of someone clearly revered at make shift alter and I did not belong. Nor could I quiet my mind, it was in fact on fire taking in all the sandalwood and what not. As for prayer; I have a pretty solid prayer life- it’s not one the Southern Baptist preachers of my youth would approve of, it’s more along the lines of Joan of Arc kind of faith (with the exception of the divine mission and all). I like to think God and I are pretty tight. But my prayers are more like conversations rather than “be still and hear him move in your life” meditations many leaders often speak about. I’m realizing how important that quiet is.
Alone time for me is like The Home Edit coming filing away all of the open tabs of brain and heart, finding a rainbow-hued place for everything- the worries, the plans, the hopes and dreams. The Home Edit comes in with their organizational wizardry to free me from the shackles of living in an unorganized mess. Who doesn’t love that! You know how people declutter one area of their home and then they can’t stop? They tackle their entire home! SAME people SAME! Now that I’ve gotten a taste of this “mental flow” that comes from the quiet time, I start to lean into it and crave it before making decisions, making big plans, taking on big projects, difficult conversations, etc. I rely on that time to mentally declutter so that my “self” can come in and get the job done in a way I can feel proud of. I love being in touch with this side of myself. I am less volatile, more patient, more loving, more thoughtful and can hold the kind of space for my kids that they deserve, the little angels.
It’s interesting to be on the cusp of my 44th year of life and only now making these realizations about myself. But better late than never, I suppose. I wonder how much “me time” or “alone time” other mom’s need to show up in mentally-home-edited kind of way for their family?
I loved this one!!!!!! Moms give so much to everyone we often put ourselves last. When children get older and bedtimes are later this also really squeezes the time we get for ourselves. I remember one trick that worked for me was that I set a time each night that I called “Mom is off duty”. My rule was if I allowed your bedtime to be after my off duty time then that meant you were old enough to not ask me to do things after I was off duty. We could talk, watch tv together or play a game. But no asking me to do something. If your old enough to still be awake then your old enough to do whatever task you are trying to ask me to do. 🙂